Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

Cabins and Cellulite

January 14, 2013 2 Comments

UGH! How does one get back into blogging after not blogging for what seems like for-ev-ah?! I liken it to cranking up the ~~tread~~ dreadmill to full speed and then just jumping right on. Like, Swoosh, just do it, sprint or die!! I have a really bad habit of sprinting from the get-go. Sports I would probably excel at since I’d HAVE to sprint right out the gates: NASCAR racing (is that even a sport?), jockeying, competitive eating chocolate-covered English Toffee, 100 yard dash, Iron Chef… and Olympic marathon racing (if I trained with the Kenyans, because let’s be honest, a 4-minute mile for 26.2 miles is practically sprinting.)

At any rate, I’ve been doing none of that because, not only do I not own a nas-car or a horse or the other talent required for those sports, but I’ve also been on this “let’s focus on my mental well-being” kick. ‘Cause how can I be physically fit if my mind isn’t in the “let’s get physical, physical” game? And while I’ve THOROUGHLY enjoyed my recent foray into relaxation (hello, where did this extra 5 pounds come from??), I’m looking forward to buckling back down with my barbell – especially since I’ve just recently discovered cellulite under my butt cheek. Cellulite: It Happens.

^^ In addition to all that and a bag of chips (literally) here are some other stuff that happened:

We recently rented a lake front cabin up near Granby Lake, CO. The view from the deck was better than the view of Ryan Lochte in a speedo at the Summer 2012 Olympics:

Wooly Cabin

I got to live out my dream of “sipping black coffee while wearing flannel and watching the sunrise from the deck of a cabin.” No joke – those were the exact words I told my husband when he asked me my vision of a relaxing weekend. And holy smokes, he made it happen:
Girl Walks Into A Barbell | Coffee SIppin Good Time

It was at the cabin that I learned how AMAZING it feels to sleep 9+ hours a night. I was like a Redneckaleptic – I slept everywhere including in front of the fire with my dogs:
Girl Walks Into A Barbell

I also spent an afternoon at Hot Sulphur Springs, CO! My hair smelled like dinosaur eggs for days but it was totally worth soaking in 31 minerals naturally heated from deep within the earth. Wow, I just totally sounded like a hippie right there. The water was so blue!

Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell) | Hot Sulphur Springs

And when something is good, why change it? So, last week we rented ANOTHER cabin at this cool Colorado town:

Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

There is this performing arts camp up in the mountains there called “Perry Mansfield”. And, well, in the cold winter months I guess the kids don’t feel much like performing the arts so… this company, Pioneer Ridge, rents out the TV-less, internet-less cabins to vacationers.
Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

We ventured out of the cabin for some BBQ, books at the local bookshop, and backcountry splitboarding. I was pretty glad to be away from the crowds at resorts and out in the middle of nowhere especially since I had a tendency to yell, “My calves! My glutes, my glutes are on fire.” I don’t what it is about this sport but it makes me SO HUNGRY I could eat an elephant… or a cookies and cream milkshake. The kind you get from a drive-thru, not the kind that brings all the boys to the yard. (So this is how the cellulite happened. Suddenly everything is making sense.)
Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

My favorite part of last week was soaking at Strawberry Park Hot Springs. In fact, this whole trip to Steamboat came about after I pinned a link to Strawberry Park from Pinterest. Don’t join Pinterest – it’s an addiction you’ll never beat especially once you discover pictures of food. I have a thing against spas. Watch a few episodes of anything on MTV and you’ll understand why. The thought of splishy splashing around in water with temps conducive to harboring bacteria is not my idea of living on the edge. But these springs are continuously flowing from underground to one hot pool to another so somehow it made it seem okay. Plus, I know of no other place where you can soak in hot springs while watching the sunset and being surrounded by snow.

Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

It was honestly all that I needed to reset and get back in the swing of things. Out there it felt like I had my priorities straight: Family and the Outdoors and my crazy dogs!! (Don’t let that expression of Rogue fool you – she wasn’t cold. That’s not snow on her face, it’s cocaine.)
Girl Walks Into A Bar(bell)

Now that I’m all relaxed up, I can focus on training for that 4-minute mile sprint. Or maybe I’ll just start with a healthy breakfast, getting back under the barbell, and tackling the 400+ work emails that I’m sure has accumulated in my inbox after a week of no internet.

Filed Under: Psychobabble Tagged With: cabins, Colorado, Hot Sulphur Springs, splitboarding, Steamboat, Strawberry Park Hot Springs

I Will Survive (Hey! Hey!)

November 5, 2012 9 Comments

QUICK! Someone hand me a microphone ’cause I’m about to get all Gloria Gaylord up in here with “I will survive! I will survive! Hey, heyyyy!”

I’m not going to lie… it’s been a tough few months for me what with life experiences and all. And to top it all off, I was getting a lot of input on what I should be doing, what I should be avoiding, what I’m good at, what I’m not good at, what others need from me, what others expect from me, when to do what, how to do what, when and how to do what. Everyone that knows me knows I thrive on structure, I appreciate order, and I’ll be the first to admit: I am not resilient to change or chaos. So when my world starts getting outta-control-crazy, with a lot of input from others that have NO idea what I’m going through, I turn into one of those perfect personalities that would qualify for a Rorschach! Needless to say, I had to call a “TIME OUT!” I had to ruthlessly edit my life not just of things bringing me down, but also of things not bringing me up.

And for a while there, I HAD to edit out blogging. Because, let’s be honest, I suck at blogging during times of peril. And, really, who would want to read a depressing blog about “blah blah blah, me me me, sad sad sad, whine whine whine.” I think the peak of my stress was around the time I was 100% convinced I would be seeing my dad for the last time. He lives 6,627 miles away on the island of Guam and we see each other once every 7-10 years. And he’s sick. Not like *cough cough* sick with a cold but sick like diabetes, clogged arteries, and masses found in his gastrointestinal tract.

This is the look of a girl who just picked herself up off the bathroom floor (after experiencing her first full blown panic attack) to hug her dad goodbye for possibly the last time before she is rushed to the airport:

Hurt, anger, guilt, fear, sadness, with maybe a dash of depression… I was dealing with it all while simultaneously balancing a new job, a marriage, and a psycho rescue dog. And the guilt! Ohh, the guilt I carried with me back home was just awful. The fact that I know all this health and wellness and fitness info but didn’t help my dad in time was genuinely heart wrenching. Between that and all the other things I was balancing in my life, I was SO STRESSED that I actually experienced alopecia areata – in other words I GOT A BALD SPOT! But as indicated by the newly grown 3″ of hair sprouts sticking up, I’m back on the up and up. I write this not for pity but as my way of saying, “If you’re experiencing monumental life stressors, take some time for YOURSELF.” Know that this period of stress will offer a good frame of reference for future occurrences. Know that, at the end of it all, you’ll realize strengths you never knew you had.

(And know that it’s totally okay if you get derailed off your workout routine ’cause your trusty barbell will be waiting right where you left it. And as “I Will Survive” blasts through the iPod speakers, you’ll realize that life is like a loaded barbell – you pick it up, it drops back down, you pick it up again. Getting stronger every day!)

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Hemorrhoids and Kidney Stones

August 4, 2012 1 Comment

I’ve always had a “thing” for numbers. In high school I practically sucked at every AP (Advanced Placement) exam I took with the exception of Statistics. I nailed Statistics like HeyZeus the carpenter and my University was, like, “Surprise! You get to skip collegiate statistics” and I was, like, “Surprise! You’re still going to charge me full tuition anyway so what does it really matter!” At any rate, that was around the time I learned to believe 50% of what I read and 0% of what I hear – which is the one statistic in my life that has never let me down. I like numbers so much that sometimes at work, I’ll eat my lunch in my office while perusing through metrics and pages worth of data thinking, “Mmmm. Numbers – so delicious.”

So when my inlaws came in for a visit and we decided to raft down the Arkansas River through Browns Canyon, the first thing I made sure to ask our river guide was, “What is the percentage of people that fall out of your raft on this route?” Which is really my way of saying, “Statistically, what are my chances of falling out of the raft, hitting my head on a rock, getting knocked unconscious which leads to my foot getting caught underwater and thus drowning?”

Our river guide replied, “I think the better question is how many people DON’T fall out of the raft?” Freakin’ optimists. I bet he poops rainbow glitter after a eating a half-full bowl of Sunshine and Cheerios first thing in the morning. And because I tend to believe 0% of what I hear, I was 65% convinced that I was going to die that day. So here it is… my “OMG I’m going to die” face:

OMG, I might die. OMG, this is awesome!!!

I never realized how rafting is like mountain biking in that the gushy splishy-splashy white water rafting is like the mountain biking equivalent of smooth, flowy single track. And then there’s the lowest-recorded-water-levels-in-the-history-of-Colorado rafting which is the mountain biking equivalent to technical rocky uphills. Guess which one statistically has more raft flips? Yes, the one we went on. With water levels at a mere 87 cubic meters per second, we were dodging rocks and strategically trying to pass them. In fact, one rapid was named “Hemorrhoid” because according to our guide “it was a pain in the butt.” The rapid right after it was called “Kidney Stone” since it was “hard to pass.” BAZINGA! I’ll have to wait til next season to tackle the splishy-splashy Class IV rapids.

Water levels were so low that, at one point, a raft in front of us wrapped a rock jutting up out of the river and the 12 year olds in the raft had to JUMP OUT. It caused a bottle-neck effect upstream with 23 (yes, I counted) rafts which had me dreaming of Ben & Jerry’s “What a Cluster” while singing,

“And I’ll swim the ocean for you
The ocean for you, whoa, oh Kelsey”

I guess the moral of the story is, “Before you actually die, do something that scares you into thinking you might actually die.” That way when you survive, you can be 100% pleased that you lived another day to enjoy a pint of “What a Cluster” one more time.