Paleo Hack: In-N-Out

In-N-Out. It’s about as synonymous with “California” as Sublime and the beach. Am I right, or am I right? Since I no longer reside in California (don’t feel sorry for me, I now have legitimate mountains as my playground) it’s practically a sacrilege to not drop by In-N-Out and play at the beach while visiting.

I realize when it comes to burgers that “buns make it fun” but Animal Style will wreck a bikini bod faster than you can say “Double-Double!” And considering I was in the Golden State to do that once-a-year-Thanksgiving-thing where I eat so much I gain 7 pounds in one day, I figured it would be smart to Paleo hack it.

So here it is, my Paleo-hack that’s not on their typical menu:

“Double Meat mustard fried with grilled onions, chopped chillies, and extra tomatoes protein style. Please hold the spread.”

I’ll break it down:
Double Meat – Two meat patties, no cheese.
Mustard fried – They’ll put mustard on my meat patty before grilling it.
Grilled onions – Typical In-N-Out burgers come with raw onions but i prefer them grilled.
Chopped chillies – Because some like a little more zing!
Extra tomatoes – It makes my double meat extra beefy.
Protein Style – No bun. They wrap it in hand-leafed lettuce instead.

Double Meat mustard fried with grilled onions, chopped chillies, and extra tomatoes protein style. No spread. Thank you In-N-Out!

The best thing about this hack is it leaves me feeling full and NOT bloated with enough gas to take me to Memphis. Double double points.

Oh! And if you want to be nice, order your dog-baby a “Flying Dutchman.” Our boxer Rogue loves going to In-N-Out with us:

Until next time, California!

Paleo Hack: Smashburger

Wish I knew what it is about mountain biking and hiking that makes me want to put a fat hamburger in my belly immediately after.

Here’s the thing (and I’m not ashamed to admit this): I love hamburgers. But I go biking and/or hiking nearly every weekend and if I indulged in my burgerlove weekly, well, the phrase “hot mess” comes to mind. Here’s how to Paleo hack a burger joint… I originally learned this trick from watching Joe Petrusky place an order at a diner. I’m glad I paid attention ’cause now burger joints have become a Top 5 candidate for places-to-eat-out-without-wrecking-my-waist-size when I’m in a pinch. Oh, the IRONY.

(I’m working with Smashburger but this works for any restaurant offering burgers.) If the burger joint allows you to create your own burger, that’s the best route. Otherwise, you can do a paleo hack by ordering a burger and then stripping it – “Off with your sauce!”

1. Order the burger that comes with 2 patties (or, not. Stick with one patty if you want.)
2. Strip the burger: Specify no bun, no cheese, no sauce.
3. Build the burger back up: Ask for extra fixings like lettuce and tomatoes.
4. Make it classy: Ask for a fried egg on top (This is hard to pull off at fast casual places but sit-down restaurants have no problem adding this.)
5. Add bacon (if that’s your thing!)
6. Don’t forget the (good) fat: Ask for a side of avocado. (Some places will have this, others won’t.)

Final cost at a fast casual restaurant is typically $6-$9
Final cost at sit-down waiter-staffed restaurant is typically the cost of the burger plus two bucks for the egg and avocado. $9-$13

And THAT’S IT. Yeah, it’s a mouthful to spell out to whomever is taking my order but I somehow manage to leave guilt-free not bloated.

1 Week Down (A Lifetime To Go?)

I just wrapped up the first week of my super strict 30-Day Paleo challenge.  WHY the heck would I eat ONLY: delicious meat, eggs, fish, a ton of water, loads of vegetables, some fruits, a little nuts, and NOTHING ELSE for 30 days? The decision was easy when I considered the following:

  1. Though I was arguably one of the strongest chics at my previous globo (personal, and admittedly arrogant, opinion here), I felt like THE slowest and weakest girl at CrossFit Love. I just want to perform better. So, I’m playing catch-up and a good place to start is with the Paleo Challenge seeing as the other members just wrapped up their 30-day Challenge.
  2. I’ve been thinking about trying a strict Paleo Challenge; joining CFLove just catalyzed the decision.
  3. I’m testing my 1RM’s in  5 weeks and I want to set some PR’s. I need food that fuels!

To be honest, I haven’t had trouble “giving up” any “foods.” The real challenge for me has been making sure to eat enough. The intensity and volume of my workouts have increased so I’ve been just PLOWING through food like you would not believe.

So, in case you’re wondering why I’m sipping on some “Dihydrogen Monoxide on the Rocks” when we’re at The Standard Tap or why the heck there is rabbit and duck in my freezer, now you’ll know.  Not gonna lie, it feels good to eat almost as much as a grown man while my Hollister denim mini fits better than ever. Now let’s see what this does for my deadlifts.